i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
