Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
