THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
They took my balls.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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