Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
