Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
