I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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