you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
