ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
