btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
