not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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