Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
