she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
