Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize