I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
