would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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