I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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