tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
