trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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