I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
