At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
