whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
