roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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