You work out of a Hotel?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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