Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This girl is more easily done than said...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
