What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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