Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
