i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
why is half of my head shaved?
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