I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
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I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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