One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
