I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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