I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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