We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
