Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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