C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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