Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
