That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
