tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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