i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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