i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
