No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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