yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
