woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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