Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
did i just pee glitter
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
