I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
