I'm really into asian looking animals
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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