That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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