So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
