It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
