you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
