VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
