Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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