can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
