I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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