We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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