at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize