I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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