My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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