im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I still have a little drunk in my system
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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