i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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