fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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