yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
